Do you know what I am? That’s right a rape survivor. Do you know where I volunteer and what I do? OH That’s right as a counselor for other survivors at a rape and domestic abuse shelter. Do you know what we often do? We often times joke about what happened to us. It gives us comfort and stability and strength to laugh with these other survivors.
We DO NOT sit around reliving the trauma of what happened to us just because we hear a joke or reference to what happened to us. That’s not how most triggers work. For example myself. My trigger is being in the dark, because I was raped at a party when I went upstairs to sleep in my friend’s parents’ room. There are still nights, even now eight years later, where I have to reach over and turn on my booklight in fear, all because my husband, someone I love and trust, brushed against me while we were sleeping. Or take my husband as another example. My husband was used as a child sex slave and in his aunt’s personal collection of child porn. His trigger is being recorded. As in having pictures taken of him and being filmed. He can, and possibly will, start violently shaking and even start crying if even a picture of his arm is taken. We had to sedate him last year just so he can have an x-ray done on said arm, because he had broke it while making a set for a local playhouse.
Rapists don’t rape because they hear a joke. Rapists rape because of the power and control. These people don’t think “Haha, I heard a joke about rape. Since rape is normal now I’m gonna rape someone.” NO! They think “Here is someone weaker than me, I can take advantage of them through forcing them to perform sexual acts.” These people have the same minds as people who abuse animals and children. There is something wrong with their brain systems.
Really (and I am repeating this until you get it through YOUR DENSE FUCKING SKULLS) the argument that Rape jokes cause Rapes is the same argument of “If a child plays violent videogames or watches violent movies or television, then that child is going to go out and kill some one for the hell of it, because it is now normal for them.” This has been disproven with so many studies, it’s silly now.
~ a note from an experienced rape counselor and Survivor